Stop Self-Loathing!
Self-loathing is something I lived with for a long time, ever since I was 6 or 7 years old.
I couldn't forgive myself for my mistakes, as silly and miniscule as there were, simply because I was a kid.
a A self loathing mind is toxic to those around you as well as yourself. You have to love yourself to love others.
When I was about 14 or 15 one day at mass I was thinking, if we have to love our neighbor as ourselves, then we should love ourselves the way we love others, how we do know if we are being charitable if we don't give it to ourselves?
That changed how I saw myself, I personally am religious, so with this thought, came, if God sees me as some worth loving, why don't I see myself like that? I had to forgive myself the same way as God did. The same as others did.
Once I pulled myself out of that state of hating myself for the things I did and didn't do, I felt a weight go away, which I was only 115 pounds, I probably lost 50 pounds mentally.
I still had depression, regardless, I could finally focus on things in the present most of my time.
I suggest starting with identifying what you haven't forgiven yourself for.
You don't need the person you hurt to forgive you to forgive yourself. Some people hold grudges, and it eats away at them is just as toxic as not forgiving yourself is. It drains you.
Look into the things that you can't forgive yourself for, learn all you can from it. Then, for as long as you need to, tell yourself daily that you forgive yourself it.
